“The journey of a thousand miles starts with one step” – Lao Tzu
Boy, is this something that I’ve struggled with. It’s so easy to be dedicated to a new routine or workout plan during that first week. You’re all gung-ho and jacked up on the thought of totally transforming your body, or career, or anything else you may be looking to fix. It’s easy to think that nothing will steer you off course.
It’s the long-term success that gets tricky. That first week is a piece of cake (unless you’re staying away from cake).
I’ve gone through this cycle so many times that I can basically just play the tape in my head and let in run on its own. It all starts with me getting self-conscious about some aspect of my life, whether it’s my looks, my personality, or the myriad of other things I wish to change.
Then I go online and sift through the hundreds of articles offering advice on whatever I want to improve on.
“Stack on 10 pounds of muscle in just 6 weeks”
“Improve your body image with these 8 nifty tips”
“How to stop caring what people think”
After reading a couple of these, I decide to go big and eat nothing but veggies and lean meats so I can get shredded, or to start being positive and only ever having happy thoughts and speaking nicely to myself all the time.
While these would obviously be great life changes to make, it’s not realistic or sustainable to expect yourself to be perfect all the time.
Sometimes you need to slip up, but just a little bit.
When you have a craving for some chocolate, eat some chocolate. Just don’t eat the whole box of chocolates.
When you make a mistake at work, or say something awkward during a conversation, it’s OK to get down about it. Just don’t let it ruin your entire day. It’s really about creating a healthy lifestyle that will lead you down the path to happiness. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither will your destiny.
This is where moderation comes into play. Follow the steps below and I promise that you’ll see the change you are looking for.
Stop Going “All Or Nothing”
This is the hardest part for me.
You need to realize that for big change to stick, it’s best to gradually ease into a new routine. Start by walking a mile a day, then slowly add on to that as your body adjusts. Don’t drop all junk food cold-turkey, start by replacing some of your poor food choices with good choices until the good outweighs the bad.
This is all the more important for mental well-being. You can’t expect your self-esteem, anxiety, or depression to change over night. These are deep- seated issues that take time to uproot and fix. Don’t beat yourself up too much when you fall back on old habits of self-deprecating thoughts.
This way of thinking is exemplified in Darren Hardy’s book The Compound Effect and is a great read if you are struggling to reach your long-term goals. He gives a detailed breakdown on how minor developments, compiled over time, lead to massive transformation. Either for better or for worse.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve decided to go balls to the wall at the gym after reading an article about Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson’s workout routine. Then after a couple of days working out 2 hours a day and killing myself, I find that I can barely get off of the couch and walk to the kitchen without a walker. All this does is lead to me skipping the gym because I’m too sore and feeling like my body has aged 50 years.
Right now, I do go to the gym 6-7 days per week. I don’t lift all of those days, and sometimes just play in some pick-up basketball games, but that consistency was built over time. When I first started, I went to the gym 3 times per week, did nice easy lifts, and was able to add more over time.
The same thing goes for my mental well-being. Since I graduated high school, I’ve struggled with anxiety and what I believe to be minor depression, although it’s never been diagnosed.
It was at its worst 5 years ago when I was 20. Many of my friends in college had dropped out or not come back for sophomore year, and I ended up living alone. Being a social person, this was really hard for me and I started to hole myself up and not branch out anymore. This affected my self-confidence to the point where I became someone, who in my eyes, was entirely different from the person who I had been all my life. Plagued by the fear of inadequacy, extreme self-doubt ,and a newfound social anxiety that made me shut down around people, I found my world got cloudy and it was harder and harder for the light to shine through.
This feeling still lingers in my psyche, and I feel as if it always will, but over the years I have cut-out many of the bad habits that were affecting my life negatively and bringing down my self-image. It has helped a lot, and my happiness has grown exponentially.
Drinking too much, smoking too much pot, not working out, eating shitty. These were all things that felt good while I was doing them but would then lead to me never really feeling proud of myself and would hold me back from getting to where I wanted to go. As I slowly cut those out, everything started to get easier and making changes started to become addicting.
Allow Indulgences
Trying to eat perfectly for 3 meals a day, 7 days a week is not only likely to drain your motivational reserves very quickly, it’s most likely going to lead to failure.
The best way to stick to your goals is to give yourself small cheats throughout the week. As long as you’re eating healthy most of the time, you can allow yourself to splurge a little bit here and there. Give yourself that cold Coke on a hot day, order that dessert when you meet up with friends at a good restaurant, get the popcorn at the movie (just maybe not the refillable large popcorn). These little treats will make your diet seem less daunting and will give you the ability to enjoy your progress rather than feel like you’re starving yourself and are surviving off of pure will.
As you continue in your efforts, you will find that you start to lose the need for these little splurges, and their frequency starts decreasing. Not because you have to cut them out, but because you really just aren’t craving them anymore and are enjoying making these positive life changes.
The strategy here is to spread out your deviations throughout the week, increasing the regularity but reducing the size.
Plenty of workout enthusiasts stick to the notion that maintaining a perfect diet for a week or two, then having an epic cheat meal, is the way to go. But in my experience, that never works. The cheat meals end up being too ridiculous, and honestly I just might not be the kind of person to pull this off. Everyone has their own way of making things work and the “small but frequent” cheats have always worked better for me. The big cheat meal is always fun, and you look forward to it, but personally I would rather just live a healthy lifestyle and enjoy good food here and there than be perfect all the time until I cash in all my chips on one glorious feast.
Understand That Great Things Take Time
Mental health doesn’t change over night, your body won’t transform from a week at the gym, and you won’t gain confidence from just reading an article. It takes time.
Respect the fact that if you truly want to change your life, you are going to need to invest in the long term. Life is an endurance race, not a sprint. Be the tortoise, not the hare.
We Can Do This
I truly believe that we can accomplish our goals, and that it is best to do it as a group. I would love for this blog to become a community that thrives on support and two-way communication between myself, you, and the other members. Feel free to leave a comment, send me an email, or reach out in any other way that you can. I’m here to listen, to learn, and to grow with you.
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